domingo, 8 de enero de 2012

schizophrenia is back...

Me: Today should be a good day. i will see my friends...
The Voice: Today will be like every other day. A total disaster
Me: Wow, I look pretty today!
The Voice: Look at you. You're disgusting. Do you see all those imperfections? Why are you so ugly?!
Me: They're not ignoring me on purpose. I shouldn't take it personally.
The Voice: No one wants to see you. No one wants to talk to you. Who wants to hang around a freak?
Me: Maybe someone actually does care about me.
The Voice: No one cares about you. They're all pretending to like you. No one will ever love you. You don't deserve love.
Me: I will stop destroying my body.
The Voice: No, you won't. You're a slave to self-harm. You will be for the rest of your life.
Me: I have to start thinking more positive;
The Voice: Disgusting. Fat. Ugly. Worthless. Weird. Freak. Depression. Suicide. Blades. Blood. Death. Why are you still here? No one wants you hear. They'll be better off without you. No one will care if you're gone.
Me: When will I be truly happy? When will this depression end?
The Voice: Never. Better get comfortable. As long as I'm here, you'll stay in the darkness. Welcome to Hell, sweetie.

and now is just a screaming i wish that the screaming in my head would stop.
I can’t focus.
It’s getting worse.

I can’t even understand what they’re saying.
They’re all just screaming at me.
It wont calm down.

The fuck is wrong with me?

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